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Core beliefs are the assumptions we make about ourselves, others or the situations we come into contact with. What do you believe in? that you're not good enough? that you are better than others? it is religion. Core beliefs are exactly the things we believe strongly about ourselves. They are based on our values and determine how we receive information and generally view the world around us. Core beliefs are also the things that make us struggle as humans because we all have different beliefs about different topics. When it comes to mental health, we easily fall into certain beliefs and thought patterns that end up preventing us from seeing other perspectives.
Personally, I had to change my deeply held core beliefs before I could really start to get better. For example, I used to believe;
I'll never get better, I've been scared too long
i will never stop worrying
I'm not a trustworthy person
I can't act like the others.
I will be looking forward to it for the rest of my life.
These are the core beliefs I've had about myself for most of my life. Maybe you can relate to the fact that I really believed her at the time, because that's all I've ever known. I never knew of alternative ways of thinking and couldn't imagine myself approaching situations any differently. We have these beliefs so ingrained in me that I could only see things from one perspective. Your core beliefs, whether right or wrong, are often not your fault. As you behave or see the same things over and over again throughout your life, you begin to believe that they are correct and that other beliefs are incorrect. You might also inherit your core beliefs from your parents or other family members, because that's the only reality you know.
These are the main reasons why you might have your current core beliefs;
- your location
- your religion
- Your family's beliefs
- Your friend's belief
- Your culture
- life experiences
Core beliefs can hold us back because they keep us from seeing other ways of interpreting the world. However, our core beliefs can also be the things that keep us on track. So it all comes down to your own life experiences. When life isn't going your way, it might be time to question your core beliefs. As we spend most of our lives following our core beliefs and values, opening up to other ways of thinking and other experiences can be daunting.
The bottom line is that if you change your core beliefs, you can change your whole life. As I changed my core beliefs about myself and my fear, my feelings began to change and every aspect of my life changed forever. It only takes changing one of your core beliefs to realize that there are other ways of doing things and other ways of thinking. Suddenly your whole mind can open up and you realize that there is a completely different world out there.
Negative core beliefs are things we believe are bad. Typically, we acquire negative core beliefs through life experiences and our daily environment. However, how often do we question our negative core beliefs? To overcome my fear, I really had to dig deep and challenge my lifelong negative core beliefs about fear. Had to change my perspective and realize I'm not a 'anxious person' I was very scared. The difference is crucial.
Common core beliefs that many of us have;
Let's put things in perspective: here are some examples of core beliefs that many people think and feel in today's society;
- murder is wrong
- love is good
- You must help people in need.
- you shouldn't lie
- you must brush your teeth
- you should be nice to people
- Better to give than to receive
- stealing is bad
- you have to go to school
- you should get a job
- Yelling at others is not cool
examples of negative core beliefs;
These examples of core beliefs are the assumptions we may make about ourselves that really hold no weight, but we still strongly believe in them.
- I'm ugly
- I'm not as good as her
- I will never get anything
- people don't like me
- i can't do anything right
- I will never get better at this
- I'm not a trustworthy person
- There's no way I can do this.
- I am stuck
- I'm nasty
- something is wrong with me
- i never do things right
- you will leave me in the end
- everyone just uses me
- the world is bad
- People only like interesting people
- I'm just an anxious person
- I'm negative
- I'm different from everyone else
- I'm stupid
These examples of negative core beliefs are typical things we strongly believe about ourselves when suffering from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and mental health. It's easy to see how these core beliefs about ourselves can lead to depression and anxiety in the long run. The problem starts when we really start to see ourselves as those very things. These are the negative core beliefs I had when I was going through anxiety and depression and I found it impossible to think differently. I used to think this was how I would feel for the rest of my life, and it only made me feel worse.
On the other hand, many people consider themselves “positive people' could have the following core beliefs. They are the people who challenge themselves to do better and try to find the good in every situation.
examples of positive core beliefs;
- The life is good
- i am confident
- people always love me
- i can do anything i want to do
- I'm good at many things
- Good things happen when you let them happen
- others will help me
- I can do this
- I believe in myself
- i can do better tomorrow
- opportunities are all around me
- I can make something good out of something bad
- I'm not special or different
- My mind is capable of great things.
- My hard work will pay off
- i can change if i want
- I don't limit myself to anything
- learning is the key
- failure does not exist
- everything is temporary
These core belief examples might get you thinking about how you feel in your life right now. If you find that you have negative core beliefs about most aspects of your life, it might be time to challenge them. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is about challenging your core beliefs. The idea is to figure out what your core beliefs are and then take steps to approach them differently. Many of us go our entire lives without paying attention to what our core beliefs are, largely because we accept the way we feel naturally.
It can be uncomfortable to question your core beliefs. The reason for this is that you have to be absolutely honest with yourself. Bringing up your deeply held core beliefs can bring about a new sense of self-awareness, which I believe we all need to do in order to move forward. When you can identify your beliefs, you can start working on challenging them. It often takes something drastic to change your core beliefs. People often don't believe something until they see it for themselves or have a deep emotional connection to something. For example, if you go through life believing that aliens aren't real and you suddenly see one, would your core beliefs change? Of course.
1. Bring them to the surface
Obviously, this is an extreme example, but we often only need to write answers to simple questions to identify our core beliefs. For example, if you suffer from anxiety, you may need to write 5 responses to the following items;
- the fear is
- the fear is
- the fear is
- the fear is
- the fear is
By doing this, you force yourself to dig deeper and bring out your core beliefs about the subject. Your responses will be generally good or generally bad, and the responses will give you an indication of how you really feel about the issue.
2. Ask yourself why you might have these core beliefs in the first place.
Once you've identified what your core beliefs are, it's time to ask yourself why you have those core beliefs in the first place. I lived with a set of core beliefs due to many factors. My teachers at school passed their core beliefs on to me, my parents passed theirs on to me, and I even picked up some of my core beliefs from my friends growing up. For example;
- You should always listen to this kind of music.
- I should go to college because everyone else does.
- I have to get a job
- I have to fix a house
- I have to train every day
- I have to study every day
- I have to fight with people I don't like.
The core belief examples above are all beliefs that others had and later inherited from me. If you ask me why I had such strong beliefs about these things, I would be hard pressed to say why I believed them. The truth is that these shared beliefs are all things that are presented as "normal'. But just because theynormalThat doesn't mean they are for everyone. For example, I never really liked school. I knew I had to go, which meant I ended up pressing myself on topics I cared little about. So I had a strong core belief that I should go to college after school. To be honest, I wanted to drop out of college and get a job, but my core beliefs held me back. I felt like I had to go to college, get more grades, and then get a job. My belief in this system was based on what I had seen others do and what the culture accepted.
So where do your core beliefs come from?
3. Change your core beliefs: stop ignoring yourself
Are you the type of person who walks around with your head down, trying to get through the day in peace? If this is you, then it's time to get up and look in the mirror. Our core beliefs about life and ourselves are often so ingrained that we ignore ourselves and reevaluate what we really believe. Try looking in the mirror and telling yourself you're getting better every day. Whatever your core beliefs are, they reside in your subconscious of all your experiences and those of other people in your life. We end up getting stuck in our own "trails" of thought and rarely try to bring things up.
In the early 1900's, a man named Emile Coué said that you can rewire your brain for an alternate reality by saying positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror. This is because your subconscious mind is like the foundation of your mind, covered by your active conscious mind. The two don't always go together, so you may find it difficult to change your core beliefs unless you regularly change subconscious thought patterns. The key is to persevere until it penetrates and affects your mind at its deepest base.
as i experiencedanxiety and depressionFor the first time I felt worse and worse. I looked for a way out, but I never found it. Now I realize I didn't think I could get better, so my efforts to revitalize my brain were in vain. Some people swear by positive affirmations. I never really understood how they could work, so I never tried them. Instead of looking at myself in the mirror every day, I practice my affirmations in my head when it feels natural.
4. Try something new
As we mentioned earlier, our core beliefs come from what we've experienced, seen, and heard. Trying something new can instantly change your core beliefs. For example, I've wanted to start this blog for a long time, but I didn't think I could. I thought websites were only for people with computer science and web design degrees. I had no idea how to start, so I didn't try. Finally, I felt the urge to try it out, so I signed up for web hosting. I played around a bit, spliced a few pages together, and finally figured out how it all worked. Fast forward to today and I can say I built something I'm proud of.
The thing is, if I had never tried, I would have spent the rest of my life believing that someone like me couldn't. Because I tried and I didn't give up, I did it. That experience changed my life and now I tell people how easy it is to create their own website. They usually don't believe me, but that's okay because that's their core belief.
The thought of never trying made me very uncomfortable, so at least trying to get my story out there became a must. You could call it a breakthrough because it caused a huge change in the way I thought about everything.
Because this project seemed so daunting, I suddenly wondered what else I could accomplish if I really tried.
Change your core beliefs, change your life
Our daily actions are determined by our core beliefs. If we change what we believe, would we be more open? I think so. The key is consistency and dedication to creating a conscious awareness of our core beliefs. I hope these examples of core beliefs have inspired you to reflect on what your core beliefs are and how they are currently affecting your life.
for your success,
Sean